Tips for those getting married with Toddlers.

So, mummy and daddy are finally getting married and what a wonderful day it will be with your little ones able to witness the commitment you are making to be united as a family. But the logistics of having young kids at a wedding can be difficult to navigate, so I thought I would share a few things we did and, things that we considered, in hopes that it may help other parents when planning their wedding!

(For reference, Grace is our 3 year old, and Harry was 18 months)

Talk to them.

Even if you think they are too young to understand what a wedding is, keep talking about it. This helps with them understanding the importance of the day and to build excitement for the event.

Every decision that you make regarding your children and your wedding should be explained and repeated so that they know what to expect on the day and they are not surprised.

We started by telling Grace all about her pretty dress, and my dress. This was spoken about for months. She was told she would be getting her hair done and walking down the aisle. Any opportunity we got to speak to her about the wedding, we did.

Try to keep them off nursery

... or preschool, or anywhere else they could pick up germs. We thought about this a lot and in the end we chose not to send either of our kids to nursery in the lead up to the wedding. In total, there was 10 days between them going to nursery and our wedding. This is because our kids tend to pick up every little sickness bug going around, and we wanted the kids on top form and feeling their best. And also, no one wants pictures of snotty-nosed kids!

Although it may be a tad impractical, in my opinion, it was the best decision that we made as they were both full of beans on the day.

Gradually change their routine

We chose to make slight alterations to the kids routine in the lead up to the wedding so that they fitted into the order of day. We chose to put them to bed a little bit later each night so that by the time our wedding day came, their bedtime was at 9.30pm instead of the usual 7pm. With this, we also made their dinner times later so they would be hungry when food was served and also changed Harry's naptime so that he could sleep on the way to the venue.

Because we did it over 2 weeks, it meant that the kids didn't really notice the changes and they fell back into their normal routine within 5 days post-wedding.

Where do you want them?

Look at your order of the day. Know where you are planning to be and then plan for where you want your kids to be. For me this consisted of the kids getting ready with each of us prior to the wedding. Then with us for the photos and the first dance. But the rest of the time, we knew that we wanted them to be off enjoying themselves.

Ask for help

There is a bit of guilt when requesting family members babysit your children all day, but that is not how you should view it.

I hear so often, "I want my family members to enjoy the day" as if looking after the kids will ruin the wedding for whoever that is. I can promise you now, it wont. Children bring such a youthful excitement to a wedding complete with awe and wonder. They are also part of the main attraction of the wedding day. When guests are unable to speak with the Bride & Groom, they are going to be looking for the kids. This means that whoever is supervising the little ones, they will likely be the social butterfly of the day, with plenty of offers to take over the responsibility for short periods of time.

If it all feels a bit too much responsibility for one family member, consider a care rota, whereby different relatives take ownership at different points during the day. This then frees up everyone individually.

Hire Help

If you really cant call upon family to help you out on the day, there is always babysitting services. This was something that we did consider and found some amazing companies that provided activities and even nap-tents. If you are considering this option, I would recommend that you ensure all staff are fully DBS checked and meeting with them before to ensure that you think they are a good fit for your kids.

Another alternative to this is to hire a children's entertainer or even a bouncy castle to keep them occupied. This is especially good if you have other children in attendance, as a childminding service for all guests will end up being very expensive.

Invite other kids

I found that having a few other children in attendance really helped our kids in feeling relaxed on the day. We invited all our guests children ranging from 6 months to 15 years and this meant they all ran around and played together. Children stop children from getting bored and we were very lucky that all of the kids were so well behaved and a pleasure to have enjoy our day.

Bring some home comforts

Now this may sound obvious but really think about what you are going to pack in their little day bags. This is not the day to be removing their favourite cuddly toy, but it is also not the day to be transporting the entire playroom. The things we included were easy to eat snacks; napping blanket; Amazon Fire tablets; colouring books and a football.

We also packed the kids a change of clothes each. As they were flower girl and page boy, they were wearing very formal clothes. We wanted them to be comfortable in the evening so they could relax and fall asleep comfortably.

Grace didn't use anything from her bag except a snack or two, whilst Harry spent the whole ceremony on the tablet and then all the kids where out in the courtyard, kicking the ball. Sometimes, the more simple to entertainment, the better.

Expect things to not go to plan

Don't be surprised if things don't go completely to plan. As any parent knows, you can not predict how your children are going to behave all you can do is prepare them and yourselves as much as possible.

At a lot of points during the wedding, I wanted my children to be with me, but they were nowhere to be seen. At one point Harry decided to have a mini-meltdown due to possible over-stimulation and Grace got a bit clingy to me towards the end.

But, even with hindsight, I wouldn't change anything about the day as our kids are such an integral part of our lives and having them experience our wedding day with us is the most special memory.